15 Jobs, What I’ve Learned – I Don’t Want To Do “This”

The most important lesson I’ve learned from any job is that – I don’t want to do this.  I’ve had more jobs in more industries than most families have had in a lifetime.  This is the result of a mixture of being insanely poor, having zero shame and curiosity.

What I’ve done:

1. Jeweler (I was a sweatshop worker making hairpins at 8.)
2. Marketing (I handed out flyers on the street at 14.)
3. Design Engineer (I was a janitor.)
4. Hotel Manager (A mix between bellhop and front desk guy.)
5. Structural Engineer (I was a construction worker.)
6. Mixologist (I worked at a bubble tea shop.)
7. Mixologist (I actually served alcohol this time.)
8. IT Technician (I restarted computers.)
9. Librarian (Shoved books in shelves in quasi-dewey decimal style.)
10. Barista (I poured coffee.)
11. Tour Guide (Lied to children about dinosaurs.)
12. Professor (I hate talking this much.)
13. Accountant (Bean counter with a specialization in tax.)
14. Entreprenuer (Failing on a daily basis to save you from my mistakes.)
15. Author (Short stories by interesting people and my business experiences.)

In all of the above, I learned that – I don’t want do this.

It’s bullshit and I hate it.

There’s nothing wrong with the jobs or the people that work in them, but I personally thought they were horrible.  If I ever have children – god forbid – I’d probably force them into a similar situation and have them work in a bunch of crazy jobs too.

Here are a few nuggets that I’ve taken away from my past jobs.

1. Tipping really is optional and people that say it’s required or expect it are out of their mind.  The restaurant and service industry in general is created so that they “offer” servers the opportunity to earn “tips.”  This is because the job pays less than minimum wage but because the addition of their tips means that the business has met the minimum wage requirement.  It’s not my job to subsidize the server or the business.  I was thankful for tips but I never chased anyone out the door if they under-tipped me by 5%.  WTF?
2. Hard labor blows giant round sweaty balls.  Hard is an understatement.  I remember lugging 4×2’s up flights of stairs and thinking my heart was going to burst in the 93 degree humid heat.  Any job that requires you to do hard labor can’t be a long-term job by design.  Your body will literally give out.  I remember screwing nails into gypsum, putting up drywall while contorting my body into ungodly positions.  The Olympics should hold a new gymnastic event for contractors considering the positions they get into to screw a nail.
3. It’s really all the same at the end of the day.  Same shit, different day.  Truer words have never been said.  I’ve never had a job or career that was “aces” across the board.  All jobs suck.  But, every job has its moments.  You can always be proud of your work.
   1. Admiring that caramel macchiato I just made for that cocky long-island douche paying $4.17 with an AMEX black card.
   2. A kid super excited after a walkthrough and tour or the shark section.
   3. The look of that guy who’s about to jizz himself finding a hotel he can afford with his faux girlfriend/mistress.
   4. The way numbers on a tax return can be so pretty when they all tie together and make sense like my Sonata #1040. LOL
   5. You can basically learn almost any job in 6 to 8 months.  If you can’t learn 80% of your job, then chances are you either (1) not true, (2) a ridiculously slow learner or (3) the people around you don’t know what the f*ck they’re doing.  Example of number (3) are investment bankers trying to understand the concept of risk through reports provided by their math PhD. Dropouts.

There are many more, insights but needless to say.  The moral of the story is that a job sucks, but you can always learn something and you should try as many as you can before you settle on one that you’ll do for the long haul.

disclaimer:

I don’t hate what I do, but people should try everything they can so that they can decide for themselves what they hate about their jobs and lives.